If your child is 0-5 years

Needs: Sense of trust, autonomy, self-control and purpose
Closest to: Parents
Help them achieve it by:
  • Teaching them the relationship between action and outcome
  • Behaving consistently so they know how to react
  • Focusing on what they do instead of what they can't
  • Providing sound rules which they can follow, but also giving opportunities for them to explore

If your child is 6-10 years

Needs: Sense of competence, being part of the community, exploration
Closest to: Parents, but increasing focus on school community and friends
Help them achieve it by:
  • Breaking big goals into smaller goals
  • Celebrate their successes by praising the process rather than their intelligence
  • Pointing out behaviours you dislike rather than character traits
  • Making time for them to share their thoughts and dreams with you

If your child is 11-18 years

Needs: Intimacy, sense of belonging, stability, direction and purpose
Closest to: Friends
Help them achieve it by:
  • Listening intently without judgment
  • Holding back on giving advise until they ask
  • Asking good questions to help them think more broadly about their dreams and aspirations
  • Allowing them to explore while you support them in the background